Sophia's Wedding
by Reanult
Summary: Sophia’s getting married! No it’s not to anyone on the game and yes it is wrong and disturbing. Also it takes place in ‘Stepford’ after the events of One step over the sanity line.
1. Default Chapter

SOPHIA'S WEDDING 

Rating: R for language and dark humor

Summary: Sophia's getting married! No it's not to anyone on the game and yes it is wrong and disturbing. Also it takes place in 'Stepford' after the events of One step over the sanity line. So if you didn't read that one, let me warn you there is shonen love in this sucker it's just not the central focus.

Notes: The idea just sprang in my head and I said why not. Be afraid be very very afraid.

"And this is going to be the wedding theme pink and light green! And these are the flowers we're going to use as our table centers! I suggested a baby's breath accent but really baby breath?" Sophia turned the page in her scrap book, much to a grasping Abella's chargin.

" Are you done tormenting my child yet?"

Sophia spared him a glare but turned to the next page, " And here's your dress you're going to look so cute when Albel carries you down the aisle."

"Carry her where?"

Sophia smiled, " You can't back out now you agreed to be my maid of honor I've already got your outfit picked out!"

"My what?! I can't be a maid of honor because I'm not a woman!"

"You agreed!"

"I was under mind control at the time it doesn't count!"

"Yes it does! I got your measurements from Cliff and everything! Abella picked out the materials didn't you little angel?! Look I've got a picture."

Albel looked at the 3-D model of himself in a poofy pink half top and green skirt. "NEVER!"

"Come on Albel don't be a spoil sport this is my wedding!"

"I got Cliff to agree to the event taking place within this house. I've done my part—now if you will excuse me it's time for Abella's tuna sandwhich and nap."

"Domestic much?"

"Die a slow and horrible death Nel."

"Nel! Great I'm glad you're here, you're just in time for your fitting we need to get downtown to—"

"Fitting for what?"

"Sophia's wedding nightmare." Albel offered carrying Abella out the room.

"It is not a nightmare! This is going to be a perfect wonderful wedding! Albel don't go to far I'll be bringing your outfit back for a final fitting.

"Can't wait."

"Come on Nel!"

Before Nel could protest she was dragged forcibly out of the house and too Sophia's car.

"I'm so excited Nel Vito is so wonderful, but there is so much to do I need to stop by the bakery and check on the cake I need to get in contact with my caterer, the florist needs to be kept up with the tent rentals and the—"

"Slow down already I'm sure it's not as bad as all of that, just do one thing at a time."

Sophia drew a deep breath then sped up, "You're right…I should just enjoy this."

Abella was having an attitude, never in his life had he ever seen a person literally turn red in rage.

"Sheesh where's that fog horn coming from?"

Albel barely spared Cliff a glare as he continued to fail at silencing the baby. He was about to press his hands over her mouth when Cliff took pity on him and swept her up. She shut up immediately.

"That's daddy's princess…giving your compta a hard time? Hm?"

"I hate you. Both of you."

Cliff just kissed him and headed out the room, " Compta needs a little alone time…"

They were barely gone before the phone blared in the now silent room. Albel made the mistake of answering it.

"The cake is ruined! That stupid fat cow ruined my cake! Look at this Albel look at it!"

Albel looked at the perfectly stunning white cake with tiny individual hand painted chocolate birds of paradise on the sides. "Okay so what's wrong with it?"

"ARE YOU BLIND?"

"No but I'm well on my way to being deaf."

" I told them SPECIFICALLY I wanted dark chocolate birds! Those are MILK chocolate ! Does DARK and MILK sound ANYTHING alike? Anything at all? Is there a way that the two could POSSIBLY be fucking confused?"

"Did…did you just curse?"

" No I sang the star spangled fucking banner you asshole! I asked for one simple thing a white cocoa macaroon wedding cake decorated with DARK CHOCOLATE birds of paradise and tropical greenery! That's it! Do I get it? NO!"

"Why exactly are you calling me? I really don't care."

Sophia's eyes would have shot flames if it was at all humanly possible. " Because you're my maid of honor! I demand you do your damn job!"

"Which is…"

"Kill the bitch!"

"What?…Wait not that I'm complaining I'm all for a little bloodshed and carnage—but are you out of your freakin' mind?."

"As my maid of honor it's part of your job to make sure that MY wedding is absolutely perfect and if that means sending a few lazy bakery shop workers that can't tell dark from milk chocolate to hell early then SO BE IT!"

Albel was stunned into silence; lucky for the bakery owner Cliff wandered back into the room sans baby.

"Sophia chill…"

"Chill? I can't chill look at this cake?! Just—just fuckin look at it!"

"Yeah…hey um hun…where's Nel?"

" Across the street getting fitted for her bridesmaid dress why?"

"Hold on one moment okay?"

"Okay."

"Clare's Dresses and accessories. Stepford."

As the phone dialed Cliff cast a glance at Albel. " She's a little shook about this wedding thing huh?"

"Yea-"

"Clare's dress and accessories how may I help you?"

"Yeah I'm looking for a Nel Zelpher?"

"Nel Zelpher?"

"She's with the Esteed/Gianni wedding."

The woman's fake smile faltered—a look of sympathy entered her eyes. "One moment… Ms. Zelpher phone!"

Her look of pity was explained a moment later when Nel appeared on the screen. "Leave it to Sophia to find a shade of green that looks terrible on a redhead."

Cliff managed not to blanch as the southern bell pale green watermelon pink bow covered dress came into view.

Albel wasn't so gracious. " MAN glad it's not me!"

"Shut up. What's up Cliff?"

"Sophia is freakin' out in the cake shop. It'd be nice if you'd go get her?"

"Sure but what do you mean freakin' out?"

"She put a hit out on the bakery owner."

"I'm on my way. Hey salesgirl can I get this boxed up?"

"Of course, I'll put it with the hat okay?"

"There's a hat?"

"Keep it down Bel you'll wake the baby."

"Wait a minute you got the brat to go to sleep? How?"

Fayt had been given a fairly simple task—or so he thought. He was in charge of the bachelor party. But what exactly did one do at a bachelor party?

A few friends had said that it was just like a frat party. Unfortunately he'd spent his college years doing school work and studying for exams rather than attend the debacle called 'parties'. So he decided to do what he did best—he looked up 'parties' on the internet and studied what came up.

Albel continued to flip through Better Homes and Villa's the stepford edition, even as Nel dragged a kicking, screaming and crying Sophia into the living room. He was certain she was using unnecessary force—but she had to get her frustration out about that dress somehow!

He cringed, much to his chagrin he had retained all of his 'Stepford programming' meaning he could whip up crème de la poofs and redesign the living into a perfect Italian villa replica all without breaking a stride. And also to his irritation he realized he enjoyed doing it!

"Do you still have any of those happy pills Fayt gave you?" Nel sighed.

"Right behind the table fern."

"Thanks."

Cliff to the most part was happy with his life. Albel had pretty much returned to normal—except for his new obsession with knitting and decorating. And he had a baby to play with. A baby that obviously considered him the favored parent.

Her bright red eyes were closed now that she lay in her crib, she had been brought to them bald now at three months she was growing a thatch of burnt gold hair. If he looked at it closely it looked like the tips of Albel's hair. Weird.

He'd opted to play stupid and pretty much stay out of the way as far as Sophia's wedding went, he had a hunch that was a good idea. His hunch was right, well he'd been playing the idiot since he was fourteen he liked to think he was good at it.

Afterall it kept him out of a lot of crap.

"Okay balloons preferably brightly colored ones."

"Balloons?" Maria was skeptical of Fayt's plans for Vito's bachelor party. For some reason she didn't think a member of the humanoid mafia would enjoy a bachelor party featuring clowns and brightly colored balloons.

"Yeah, that's what the net says—"

"Fayt why don't you call Cliff and ask for his help?"

Fayt blinked, " Vito said that probably wasn't the best idea—Cliff being gay and all."

"Cliff isn't gay—he happened to fall for guy but TRUST me when I say Cliff has seen his fair share of female tail."

"Really."

"To be blunt? Cliff has seen more female ass than the seats at the annual Amazons for female liberation assembles."

"What happened?"

"Albel blind sided him I guess. He must have thought he was a woman at first glance and that was that."

"Hmmm…do you think he'll know what to do?"

"I think he might have a few ideas."

Cliff stretched and opened the refredigrator door.

"Hello Cliff please keep in mind your starch intake has been very high lately, may I recommend the carrots and celery for your afternoon snack?"

"Sure." Cliff mumbled as he took out a bag of potato chips and a can of soda.

"That is not the recommended meal."

"I know."

"Cliff phone!"

Cliff sighed and put his snack down on the counter, he knew it was probably someone about Sophia's wedding but they had asked for him. " Yo."

"Hey Cliff! How ya been?" Fayt smiled.

" Pretty good, what's up?"

"I need your help. I've been put in charge of Vito's bachelor party and I don't know what to do!"

"Strippers."

"Beg pardon?"

"Strippers. The more the merrier, Vito seems like he'll have a lot of guys guys at his party—you know cheap beer swillers –I love football and blood types so stick with easy to say foods and drinks like wings, chips, Bud and Miller. The smarter ones in the crowd are going to go for the Miller because it has two syllables. Oh and see if you can get one of those cakes where the naked chick jumps out. And for vinue you might want to rent out a penthouse suite in one of the casino's in Las Vegas."

"Mars?"

"Of course, you didn't think I meant the amusement park on earth did ya?"

Fayt looked lost. "Bud? Millers? Wings? Strippers? What the hell does all that mean?!"

Cliff sighed, " Look don't worry about it. I'll take care of it okay?

"Thanks you're the best Cliff."

"Whatever."

Fayt's head disappeared from the screen and he sighed again, "Damn it."

"Got sucked in huh?" Albel offered from the doorway.

"Yeah."

" What are you doing in here?"

" I felt the overwhelming urge to make brownies."

Cliff laughed.

Yes, my derangement has continued.


	2. Is it meant to beare you sure?

**SOPHIA'S WEDDING**

Rating: R for language and dark humor

Summary: Sophia's getting married! No it's not to anyone on the game and yes it is wrong and disturbing. Also it takes place in 'Stepford' after the events of One step over the sanity line. So if you didn't read that one, let me warn you there is shonen love in this sucker it's just not the central focus.

Notes: The idea just sprang in my head and I said why not. Be afraid be very very afraid. What is wrong with me;

* * *

Cliff sighed as he got off the phone with hooters and hoochies, he'd booked the mystic spider lady and the snake dancer for the party. He'd managed to land a suite at 'The Majestic' for two nights—and he had yet to find a single dancer that had only two arms that did the cake thing. Albel had walked past him a few times laughing but otherwise held his smartass remarks to himself.

Fayt's head popped up on the screen, "Hi Cliff! Guess what? I went ahead and got the refreshments. Mama's greasy spoon has agreed to be our caterer!"

"That's great Fayt, now what I need you to do is find a place that does the cake pop out thing and you're all set for two weeks from now."

"Really? Man Cliff you're fast thanks a lot!"

"Sure no problem. Just don't invite me okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

"Oh come on he's GOTTA come—you know gay or not he's Sophia's friend and I wouldn't want to insult him."

Fayt didn't exactly know how to tell him that Cliff had expressly said he did not wish to come—at all. "Well ah—he's got that new baby and Albel has to help Sophia out with her wedding stuff and uh—"

"He's gotta come! I don't wanna hear another word about it got it?"

"Gotcha."

* * *

"Didn't I say I didn't want to come? Were you not listening when I stood here and the words Just-do-not-invite-me-okay. Came out of my mouth!"

"Actually you said don't instead of do not and okay sounded more like a question."

" I swear if you were here right now I'd fling you across the room!"

"Ohh violence can I watch?" Albel asked carrying a whining Abella to the fridge.

"What's that noise she's making?"

" Hunger whine. Soon it shall become the hunger scream of rage—scary that I know that. Did you feed Miffy?"

"Not yet, but by all the screaming outside a few hours ago she did feed herself."

"Anyone we know?"

"Didn't sound like it."

Albel shrugged grabbed a bottle from the fridge and headed for the microwave.

"Married life."

"What's a stripper?"

"Uhhh—fun?"

"Right."

"Fun that I will have no part of."

"Very correct."

* * *

"Wooooooooooooooo take it off! Take it off!"

Cliff pretended he didn't see Vito trying to stick his tongue down the hooker's throat. Just like he'd been ignoring Fayt's drunken crying underneath the living room table. Where a naked woman laid covered in tea tree leaves and strategically placed fruit and chocolates. She'd asked Fayt a couple of times if he was okay. His only response had been a tearful. "I want to go home. I want to go hooome…"

Nope, Cliff was keeping his word. He was sitting in the far corner of the room, drinking his way through a large bucket of Klausian beer—compliments of the hotel. They remembered him from his last visit—and because of that. The penthouse was free—along with the liquor AND to top it all off. The best women—hookers, strippers and call girls alike had shown up. He just wished he could remember what happened on his last trip.

All he could really recall was being very very thirsty, smelly and in bed with nine very happy women. Seven of which were in the room at that moment—and were sharing drunken stories about what exactly had happened that weekend with any guy that didn't immediately make a grab for their breasts. Stories he prayed—never—EVER made it to the ears of his mate.

He'd been receiving admiring looks from the guys that listened. One even gave him a thumbs up.

"Cliff! Yo Cliff come on man join us!" Vito pulled his face from Candy's chest long enough to shout an invitation. " Come on fag or not you gotta find these chicks hot!"

Oh shit. There was that word again. He really didn't like that word, Vito it seemed did. If he said it one more time Cliff was going to introduce his face to the back of his head. But right then, he was very reluctant to do so, he'd had at least six beers and he was enjoying his buzz, he wanted that to continue.

"What comeon man! Look if you want we could get a guy up here for ya huh?"

He wanted to laugh, the reason these chicks were here in the first place was because he was there. "No way man you trying to get me killed?"

"I want to go hooome."

"Are you okay man?" The fruit girl asked again.

Cliff sat back and popped open another beer, even as Lolli—short for Lollipop came and plopped down on his lap. He sighed, his mind remembered very clearly that he was dedicated to a beautiful, intelligent, soft spoken, slightly insecure—completely jealously insane individual who for whatever reason loved him as much as he was loved. However his body saw—red head in a green g-string gold glitter on her nipples and a tongue ring mother lode!

"Ohh so you do remember me huh sug?"

"Oh crap…"

"I wanna go hooome."

Suddenly Cliff agreed with him, he wanted to go home to.

"You know hon—I could get a couple of the other girls—and we could grab a little alone time. You know to catch up and-." She leaned forward and pressed her chest flat against his. "Maybe I could do a little grabbing of my own—for old times sake."

"You know right now I'd love to—but I'm with someone it's serious."

"How serious?" she pouted. He never could resist when a woman pouted…

"We have a baby—want to see her picture?"

"Cliffpoo has a baby!" one of the girls squealed and jumped off of one of Vito's friends lap. Several other girls followed suite.

"Yeah she's four months old gonna be five in a few weeks. Her name is Abella C. Fittr."

"Aww she's so cute!"

"What's the C stand for?"

"Claw don't ask. She looks just like her Compta—acts just like me."

"Compta?"

"No way you got with a guy!"

"Ah well what a waste."

"Lucky bastard."

"Yo ladies! There's a bunch of STRAIGHT guys over here that could use some attention!"

Lolli sighed, " Yeah a bunch that only equals a half of one Cliffy. Whatever will we do?"

Cliff laughed and drank another bottle of beer. That's how the night went for another three hours or so. Cliff drank—Fayt cried the fruit girl comforted, (well now the fruit girl had gotten off the table and sat with Fayt's head in her lap.) and Vito and his jerk friends got wasted and made pot shots about Cliff's sexuality.

At least that's how it went until Vito's friends started to leave with some of the girls leaving just one that Cliff didn't really know and a still crying Fayt—minus fruit girl.

Vito and the mystery girl went into the bathroom and Cliff refused to think about what was going on.

* * *

The next morning—he woke up on top of the blankets in the master bedroom. Fayt was curled under the comforter next to him. Vito was nowhere to be seen—that is until he opened the bathroom door and there he was in the bathtub on top of the girl from the previous night. His mouth was wide open in a silent scream.

A moment later Cliff's hung over brain realized two important things—one was that the tile walls and the bathtub were not red yesterday. And two the red that covered the walls tub and floor was not… "Holy fuck! What the hell did you DO!"

Sophia had started overseeing the decorations as they arrived so far she had sent back four sets of plates, three colors of table cloth (watermelon pink petal pink, cotton candy pink, rio sand pink, and grapefruit pink are NOT the same color!)

She'd had at least four panic attacks within the last three hours and given about 50 of them in the same amount of time.

After pressure from all sides resumed,( and Sophia was given a handful of sedatives) Albel stepped in and took over the arrangements—very unwillingly.

"Where would you like the statue Mister Nox?"

"How the fuck should I know? Stick it next to that giant flowery thing."

"Mister Nox we have a problem, the sol III papayas have not been delivered yet."

"And? The wedding isn't for another three days. I'm sure you can find the papa—whatever in that amount of time."

"You don't understand the papayas punch is a signature drink of our service, it takes three days to make!"

"What? How can it take three days to make juice?"

The man looked like he was about to launch into a long explanation that Albel really didn't care about. "Look I really don't care if you make the punch out of cow spit. However Bride Kong will—and most likely she'll want me to stick your entrails on a barbeque split. Which I will do and happily by the way if this isn't right. So what I suggest—for your sake you find a way to get those papathings and have the punch pink and perfect by rehearsal tomorrow. Or you die a painful death okay? Hey idiot get OUT of my flowerbed! And you get out of my Miffy's mouth you're going to make her sick!"

"Albel phone!"

"Tell them I'll call them later."

"It's Cliff and he says it's real important!"

Albel growled and screamed at the sky, "I swear someone had better be dead or dying!"

* * *

" You look like shit." Albel stated flatly.

Cliff raised tired eyes to the screen and glared, " I've had a VERY long night and a longer morning please I beg you don't start with me."

Albel arched a brow, "That serious?"

" You have no freakin' idea."

"What happened."

Cliff sighed, " Press that red button next to the monitor for me?"

Albel obliged, " Well?"

"Vito killed a hooker last night and I helped him hide the body. Turns out the hooker is the run away daughter of the Mitsuki family—who just so happen to be in a turf war with the Gianni family. Know where this leaves us?"

"Where?"

"Right in the middle of a mafia war."

"Great."

"So what I need you to do is convince Sophia to call off the wedding."

"Right and while I'm at it, should I make the world stop turning and teach fish to sing?"

Cliff laughed, "Just do your best huh?"

"Sure."

"Hey where's Abella?"

"Driving Duo and his screaming brats crazy."

Okay so what ya'll think?


End file.
